Imagine this. You are going on a date. Dates can be pretty exciting but also a bit terrifying. Let’s say you feel excited. You might find a great love or at least a new friend. And, somewhere in the back, there is that little voice that keeps saying bad things, asking questions. And with each new question, starting to make you feel more anxious and insecure. “Will my date like you for who I am? What can I do to make him like me even more? How can I impress him? What If he doesn’t find me interesting?”
It is normal to question ourselves. It is normal to be curious. Especially prior to a date. While some are pretty confident about themselves, others tend to play all kinds of “What if” scenarios in their heads.
When we want to be liked by the other person (that is usually the case, right?), sometimes we tend to bend the truth a little. We wish to impress that person so we play along and say things we otherwise wouldn’t or do things that aren’t exactly who we are.
How many times have you see someone suddenly turning into a “yes” person as they tend to agree with or like the same things that their date does?
As if they have put on their “I’m the best” mask.
You hide your true self in the process
But I say that now, in this moment, you are the best. Your current best self. The best for someone that’s right for you. And I say 100% sure – if you wear a mask on your date, it’s a waste of the opportunity to let your date decide if he or she genuinely likes you.
Because if you act like yourself on your date, there is still a possibility for a real relationship to blossom, and all without the lofty expectations or pretensions.
Show the natural You
Here are some strong good reasons why you should show the natural you when you go on a date:
• The truth will eventually come to light.
When you sell yourself as someone else, it would take a lot of work to hold onto that facade. If that first date progresses into a relationship, the other person will eventually discover who you really are. After realizing this, what do you think will happen next?
However attracted that person may be to you because of the pretend version of yourself, it may instantly go away. Would you date a person who started building a relationship based on a lie?
• Life is so much harder when you pretend.
By pretending to be someone else, you ought to be extra careful about what you say, do or wear. Everything has to be filtered. You need to have a good memory of all the stories that you told him or her about the person that you’re pretending to be.
On the other hand, being yourself means being able to connect easily with your date. Think back to how you were as a child and how you always speak your mind. It gives you the freedom to say what you want to say. Since kids do not have to impress anyone, they behave and speak without filters. This doesn’t mean that you are free to behave like a jerk, but you should not hold yourself back too much.
• Your self-esteem goes down the drain when you’re pretending.
If you’re fine pretending to be someone else you’re not, it only shows that you don’t like yourself in the first place. This alone will slowly eat on your self-esteem until you see yourself as an insignificant speck of dust on the planet.
If you want to train yourself to be yourself when you go out on a date, start with living an unfiltered life. Say what’s on your mind without overthinking everything. Practice being like a child, even for a few minutes. Start doing it with the people you feel close with and make you feel safe while saying things openly. If you start feeling comfortable about yourself, it would be easier to connect to your date and maintain that connection.