This might be your or your friend’s story, I know I’ve been there and this is why I share it.
It goes something like this: I keep telling my friends and family about me wishing to be in a relationship, but when the chance comes, I end up running away. I meet a guy, things start great, we start to see each other more often, spend intimate days and night, and suddenly – I am searching for reasons why this won’t work. It’s either him or me or some stupid excuse.
I can’t even offer a proper explanation as to why I think it won’t work. It’s easier for me to just nip the relationship in the bud because it is scarier to let it evolve into something more than what it already is. Ever had a similar experience?
Why do we get scared of evolving relationship
When you enter the relationship that you’ve been kind of wishing for, you’d think everything is perfect… until fear creeps in. Little by little.
It could be because you are scared of emotional intimacy, but there are many other reasons behind that fear.
I would like you to consider these two possible reasons.
First one is that you might be scared of the possibility of being rejected.
Deep down, you might already be thinking about the consequences if the relationship breaks down. The more you invest yourself in the relationship, the bigger the fear gets.
This fear could have stemmed from previous painful breakups or bad relationships, or from seeing the people around you get hurt from their relationships, such as your friends’ break-ups, constant fighting or even your parent’s divorce.
The idea is: If you don’t open yourself to someone – then you don’t get hurt if things go wrong. Though I’ll share with you – my fear fed itself over time and became too intense for me to handle. If you don’t resolve this, no doubt yours will too.
The second reason is that your heart is still closed.
Your mind might say you’re ready for a relationship, but your heart is still unsure. Just so I don’t have to open up to someone and be vulnerable, I created a bad habit of pursuing men who were just unsuitable for me. Why? Because then I’d easily find plenty of reasons to end that relationship.
One example, I would date men who would do nothing all day. They didn’t had a steady job. They would only talk about their ambitions such as starting their own business, having some ideas, business plans. It was all talk, talk, talk, but no action.
Life-style such as staying home all day, sleeping, eating and playing video games was a huge turn-off and a deal breaker for me. So it would be the perfect ‘impossible’ relationship – I knew I couldn’t get attached. And no attachments equals no commitments.
See for yourself
Any of this sounds familiar to you?
What do you think your reasons are?
Single and Wondering Why?
There are 5 main reasons that might be stopping you from having a loving, caring partner and the relationship you want.
Find out which one is yours (perhaps all five?) and what you can do about it.
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