… and gets you tired.

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who has been living with his girlfriend for the past four years. I moved in a few months ago with my boyfriend so I wanted to hear about their life together. I have a lot of female friends living with their boyfriends, but I wanted to hear a man’s perspective. When he asked me how things are going between us now that we’re living together, I just blurted out without thinking “Surprisingly well!”, nodding my head somewhat in disbelief “You know.. that living together stuff.. it’s not that bad at all!”

“Isn’t that just the way it should be? Like you’re enjoying it?”, he asked provocatively.

“Yes, but I thought there will be a lot more work, you know.. Everyone kept warning me how things will change, there’s a lot to work on once you move in, and you know my last moving-in experience with my ex…” I started explaining myself.

And then he said an interesting thing, “You know what? I hear all these women talking and men complaining like they need to work on their relationships, they need to do something, they need to change this or that.. To tell you the truth – I’m really happy in my relationship. We go great together! I don’t have to work. Nor does she! We have so much fun and living together is really easy. Sure, we have bumps there and then but if we have a problem, we make few adjustments, we talk it out. And move on. Other that that… We are really enjoying.”


How about you, do you work in your relationship?


How much work is too much work?


And where do you draw the line?